Today would be your 4th Birthday. You would have started Sunbeams this year. Tonight I would be wrapping your presents, probably swords and guns like your brother Jaxon, and putting up streamers in your room and around the house. And I would be feeling light headed from blowing up balloons to put around the house. I would be trying to make everything perfect for you and planning your dinner and cake.
But your Birthday is much simpler than that. And I appreciate that! Instead, I think about you, I cry a little, I miss you, I look at pictures of you and I wonder what life would be like if you were here. I pray for strength to make it through another Birthday of yours and I am completely comforted. Not a day goes by when I do not think of you. Every single day for the last 4 years. I know I have much work to do so I can be with you in our perfect place above. And I am trying. I was asked earlier this week if each Birthday gets easier. My answer, NO. The longing is still there, the hole in my heart, it's still there too. Nothing can replace you my precious son. I often think I am missing someone in our family and I finally realized that having more children is not going to make me feel complete. It's you that I am missing. And we will have to be patient until we can be with you again...
I know you are doing a great work in heaven. I have no doubt. And I know you watch over us. I have no doubt about that too. I often feel so unworthy knowing you are watching over us and waiting for us. I feel so blessed knowing our family is protected by you. I have seen many miracles in my life that has made that very apparent. You are our guardian angel!
There are times I feel you so close and I feel like I know who you are. I use to wonder that at the time of the resurrection if we would be able to recognize you or know you. I do not wonder that anymore. I DO know you and I do feel your spirit so near our family at times. And I greatly anticipate our perfect reunion someday.
In the meantime my son, do well. Serve well. And we will all do our best to be better, every day.
I am so grateful for all the blessings and miracles you have brought to our family! And for your Birthday, YOU are OUR gift! I love you Drake! And I miss you!
Love, Mom
4 comments:
Sometimes it feels like the world should stop spinning when we lose someone we love, but through Christ's redeeming love we move forward, push on and endure to the end. Drake was so special, but he has special parents and siblings too :) He is so loved and never forgotten. He truly is a valiant servant. Hope you made it through this day okay.
Love you all. ~Ellen
You are such a wonderful mother! I love your post. As I read I think, "if it were me in your place what that would be like?". The tears stream down my face, like rain on a window. My heart aches and it isn't even my loss. Where does your strength come from? Of course I know where. I know you well and you do not act as if you are harboring a wounded heart. Your heart is open and filled with charity for others. Your spirit is light and playful. You are full of ambition and creativity. You have been a wonderful example of a woman who has decided to "grow where she is planted", to trust and follow Heavenly Fathers plan for her. I am sure he couldn't be more pleased to keep you as his own. Your children are blessed to have you as their mother. And I am graced to call you my friend. All my love and prayers at this time.
Suzanne
Happy Birthday Drake! I wish I knew you like your mama does. She is an amazing person, and has always been a great example to me. You are so blessed to have been born into such a wonderful family, and it is clearly evident that they have been blessed by you! Happy 4th!
I love you Melissa and your sweet precious Drake too! You are the most amazing mother! Your children here on earth and in heaven are so blessed to have a mother who loves them so deeply. I am so grateful for your guardian Angel who watches over your family. Love you!
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