Personal Struggles

If you are a woman, you MUST READ THIS blog post!

As many of you know, or at least may assume, I have been having major issues with this exact topic.   I know Heavenly Father KNOWS me because this message has been sent to me at this exact time.  The other day I googled Tummy Tuck.  Just because I was curious.  Curious about how they look, the cost, the healing time etc.  And I told Brandon that seeing all that I will never have made me feel really bad about myself physically.  It's like I have completely forgotten what's important.  I know this is the hold Satan has on me.  I know to some degree every woman is hard on herself about weight.  But it puts me in a very unhealthy depression and way of thinking.   I know that the things I need to focus is such a big helper with a sweet spirit, Autumn, a great big smile to brighten your day, Jaxon, the funniest sense of humor, Brinnley, and the cutest little giggle, Maxwell.  And of course, my sweet angel Drake that is my reminder to keep an eternal perspective.  My body has gone through all of this for that!  And I wouldn't trade it for anything!  And then I remember how weak my baby Drake's body was when he was born with cancer and down's and all of his other complications.  I wanted to be strong for him.  Make up his difference,  so I began training with my sister and my cousin for an Olympic Distance Triathlon only 2 months after he was born via C-section, my first c-section, and completed the tri only 5 months after his birth.  I remember the physical healing my body did, but also the emotional healing I had with all the exercising.  I was in a good place.  And I want to be there again.  Physically, emotionally and most of all, spiritually.  So here is to a brighter day.  Days of feeding my body AND my spirit.  I will put more focus into feeding my spirit so that it is rejuvenated, then let it guide my body in the direction of health and self control.    And for a little more perspective, I came across this quote on my dear friend, Cameron's blog tonight: I added the part in red:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautiful tailored clothes, with a super skinny body and perfectly round chest,my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my nails from helping weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheek and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived." 
-Marjorie Pay Hinckley